How To Be Kind
by Roxius
Summary: When Toon Link finds Wolf beating up a doll, he decides to teach the anthro how to be kind to others! Very small bit of Toon LinkXWolf crack near the end. Basically a silly little crack fic containing two awesome SSBB characters! Please R & R!


Wolf didn't understand it; how could it still be crying? 'I punched it, slapped it, kicked it, threw it, bashed its head against a wall...I even bit it! Why won't it shut up?' Luckily, Toon Link walked in just in time to see Wolf busy strangling a small doll made to resemble a baby. Pulling out his Hookshot, Toon Link snatched the doll away and cried, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

Wolf sighed and said, "This is all Peach's idea. She wanted to make sure the Smashers here knew how to take care of children when the time comes...we were all given a special doll that is supposed to act like a baby, but I highly doubt that since mine is still crying even after I beat it against the wall several times!" Toon Link looked down at the baby doll; the left side of its head had been bashed in.

The young swordsman winced at the thought of an actual baby being in Wolf's clawed hands. Sighing, he tossed the doll to the side and said, "Listen, Wolf...you need to learn that not everything is solved with violence...you may be a furry, but you need to have enough human qualities to tell right from wrong..."

"Feh! I'm not that dumb, kid!" Wolf snapped furiously, "I have enough human intelligence within me to know that kind of crap! Yeesh!"

Toon Link shook his head. "No...you don't, Wolf! I will teach you how to be caring and gentle...and kind!"

Wolf's eyes widened (well, the eye that wasn't covered by an eyepatch did) and he threw his head back, letting out a powerful howl. Crouching into a menacing pose, he snarled, "FUCK THAT! I AIN'T LETTING A BRAT LIKE YOU TEACH ME ANYTHING! THAT'S COMPLETE BULLSHIT!"

Before Wolf could strike, however, he found himself lying face first on the ground with Toon Link sitting victoriously on top of him. Sighing, Wolf thought, 'Goddamit...why did this kid have to be so fuckin' strong...?'

* * *

"Okay! Your first lesson is to compliment people!" Toon Link exclaimed once he and Wolf got outside to begin their "training".

Wolf couldn't believe he was being tutored by a little 12-year old, but if he tried to run away...bad things would happen, and all of that pain would come directly from that Master Sword.

'Argh! I need to get out of this...I better just do what he says and get it over with...' Wolf thought sullenly.

Looking around, Toon Link spotted Fox feeding some fish in a small pond. Pulling Wolf by the tail, he said, "Alright...Wolf, I need you to go over there and give Fox a compliment! It can be something as small as saying how he has a good sense of fashion or something...just be nice!"

Wolf rolled his eyes and walked up to Fox, who immediately went into a fighting stance when he noticed his arch-rival behind him. His hand near his blaster, Fox snarled, "Okay, Wolf...what the hell do you want?"

Wolf swallowed a shitload of spit and began to skim around his mind to think of something nice to say. 'Uh...'nice hair'? Nah...that'd be a lie. Hmm...I could say he's a pretty good brawler, but that's a big load of bullshit, too...Falco's even better than him...Argh! Why must complimenting losers be so hard!' While Wolf was busy arguing with himself, Fox was freaked out and he ran off in a hurry.

Suddenly, Toon Link popped out of a bush and started pelting Wolf with arrows. "YOU IDIOT!" he shouted, "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO COMPLIMENT HIM!"

Wolf caught several arrows with his teeth, ate them, and then snapped, "I WAS TRYING! IT'S JUST REALLY HARD, OKAY? I WAS THINKING OF A GOOD COMPLIMENT UNTIL THAT FOX BASTARD RAN OFF!"

Realizing the truth, Toon Link apologized quickly before dragging Wolf back inside for his next lesson on being kind...

* * *

As they walked into the dining room, Toon Link turned to Wolf and said, "We'll work on the compliment thing later, but for now we'll go on to the next lesson: Aiding Those In Need! To be kind, you need not only say nice things, but you need to DO nice things for other people! For example...see Ness and Lucas over there? They seem to be having trouble with a heavy package. Go and help them!"

In reality, Ness and Lucas didn't seem to be having any trouble at all with the package. However, since Toon Link was glaring at him with those lifeless cartoony eyes, Wolf had no choice but to go and aid the two psychic boys.

"Do you two...need help with that?" Wolf asked, trying his best to smile. However, his smile took on the look of a disturbing snarl, so Ness and Lucas ran off into fear the moment they saw him. Toon Link ran up, kicked Wolf in the butt, and snapped, "STOP SCARING PEOPLE OFF WITH YOUR VILLIANOUS LOOKS, ASSHOLE!"

While Toon Link was kicking him, Wolf grabbed the boy by the leg and swung him onto the ground.

"LISTEN, BITCH! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF DOING THIS FOR YOU! JUST BECAUSE YOU SOMEHOW HAVE ENOUGH POWER TO BEAT ME AROUND GIVES YOU NO RIGHT TO-" Toon Link cut off Wolf's rant by kissing the enraged anthro on the nose.

Toon Link chuckled and said, "...Now, are you ready for the next lesson?"

Wolf tried to keep himself from blushing as he helped the young boy up and grumbled, "Fine...fine...I have nothing better to do anyway..."

* * *

For the rest of the day, Toon Link continued to teach Wolf on how to be a good person. Here are the results when Wolf had to act nice to Fox at the end of the day:

Wolf - "Hey, Fox! Whatcha doing?"

Fox - "Uh...watchin' TV? What do you want, Wolf?"

Wolf - "You have really nice hair for a dumbass!"

Fox - "FUGUH?!"

Wolf - "Plus, you can run really fast...although Falco is faster, I hear!"

Fox - "KEH?!"

Wolf - "I hope you die soon, bitch! You may be good...but I'm better!"

Fox - "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHaaahhhhhhhhhhAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH..."

Wolf - "PWNED!"

In the end, Toon Link gave Wolf a 'C+' for the day.


End file.
